Being an Makeup artist (MUA) is one of 3 things. You are either sat around killing time, busy busy can’t stop superhero stylist or spending the money you haven’t made yet from the client you haven’t even met yet!
Its Saturday. 6am alarm, I’m out of the house by 6:45 and with the bridal party by 7:45.
Before noon I will have done one big bouncy blow-dry and makeup for mum of the bride, one intricate updo and makeup for the bride and for the maid of honour, makeup with a half up half down on what can only be described as a fabulous lion’s mane!
I will be offered a bacon butty but will resist its deliciousness to avoid ‘butty fingers’! No stopping, sitting or breaks beyond a sip of coffee and small glass of water. The thing about a wedding morning is it is great fun but as the MUA you simply don’t stop.
I finish working on my wedding party at 11:50am and exit stage left straight away so the ladies can set off to the ceremony. Hmmmm, what to do now? I have another client this afternoon at 3:30 for a special occasion hair and makeup. Should I drive for an hour to get home and leave and hour later and then drive for an hour again? Think of the environment!
Three and half hours to kill, hmmmm what to do, what to do? I know, I’ll grab a spot of lunch! There is a Zizzi’s not far from my next client, I feel a discount voucher coming on!
It is now 1:15pm, for an hour and a quarter I have been sat in my car, in traffic, because it took an hour and a quarter to drive the 8 miles from Epsom to Esher! I have traffic knee now. I’m also a little sweaty due to the lack of climate control in my 11-year-old Ford Focus. I could murder a Porcini Tortellini!
Finally fed and over an hour to kill… This sofa seat they gave me is really comfy, I could totally lie down and have a nap. Would that be socially unacceptable?
Could I have a pudding? I’ve already put weight back on that I lost before our family holiday in February. And we are out for dinner with friends tonight. Nope, no pudding.
The shops on the high street look lovely, yeah that’s a credit card disaster waiting to happen!
I could write up my accounts and expenses for the month. Seems evil for a Saturday afternoon.
I could just drive around in the sunshine; I haven’t had much of a chance to wear my fabulous new Michael Kors Sunglasses I bought on holiday yet! Hmmmm, traffic, the environment, might end up sweaty again, already paid for the car park, waste of petrol. Yep definitely not going for a drive.
2:10pm. That’s it, I’m going window shopping! And by window shopping I’m going to show my other half exactly why I said making me the second card holder on his AMEX was a silly idea!
My life as an MUA: Glamorous? Sometimes. Tedious? Sometimes. Fabulous? Always!